"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." So likewise, the journey of a leadership role begins with managing oneself. How do you manage youself as a leader?

Manage your inner life

Like it or not, everyone watches the boss. If the boss is in a bad mood, it will impact their people. Some people will pass on the bad mood, and others will derive negative emotions like fear or rejection. A stressed organization is unlikely to perform well. The leader needs to attend to their stress triggers and consciously modulate their behavior to lead well.

Seek feedback

Feedback is harder to come by with professional advancement. Yet, even though getting negative feedback is a disorienting process, a leader must seek it out and confront its undiluted version. Especially, you as a leader must know how you behave under pressure.

• What is your attitude to your subordinates?
• How do you treat your peers?
• How do you ask for support?

Combine strengths and self-knowledge

To understand stress triggers, one needs to understand their own emotional intelligence. Understand, not improve. Most folks who take on leadership positions get the opportunity because they are more skilled and can mentor others. They become more capable by enhancing their skills. However, research says you can't improve your emotional weak points. You can only be aware and use that awareness to take action in the right direction.

For example, one of my weaknesses is I fail to observe unique characteristics in a person and thus make mistakes in aligning them to a common cause. Knowing this, when I struggle to align individual aspirations with the organization's goals, I ask myself - "what unique qualities does this person possess that makes them a better fit for another purpose?".

Lead with authenticity

Most folks are smart and see right through when a leader fakes their behavior. An inauthentic leader is an instant turn-off. Authenticity comes from purpose. To authentically react to a situation, tell your people if you made a mistake, show them hope while acknowledging difficulties, admit not having all the answers, and always operate from your values:

• What do you aspire for?
• What can't you tolerate?
• Where do you belong?

Tell empowering stories

When the going is hard, some folks tend to take a victim attitude. They justify they are correct, and others are wrong. A leader who takes this approach will fail miserably. Instead, the right direction would be to tell the most hopeful and personally empowering story without denying the facts.

The Stockdale Paradox reflects this attitude. This paradox is based on Admiral Jim Stockdale, who was held captive for eight years during the Vietnam war. He never lost hope that he'd see his family back home one day but at the same time acknowledged that that day may not come soon. Other unrealistically optimistic prisoners died with a broken heart after being denied freedom repeatedly against their hope.

Telling the right story goes back to managing your inner life and leading with authenticity.

Beat the busy habit

"It's hard to get any real work around here." is a familiar refrain with some leaders. The "real" work being referred to is the work that improves the business. There's also a hint that the work needed to keep the business running is not real work. However, this is a dichotomy. The work that keeps the business running is the "whirlwind" - the essential work. At the same time, it is also crucial to work outside the whirlwind to improve the business.

Leaders may also develop a busy habit from a psychological desire to be indispensable. Leaders must overcome this and understand that they will be recognized by the outcomes they deliver.

Deliver outcomes

Leaders who say yes to everything don't get anything done. Further, they tend to reward those who accept the overload while neglecting those who choose to focus on the few. As a result, such leaders and their subordinate team would give the appearance of being busy without ever delivering outcomes worth celebrating or remembering.

Instead, a leader should ask themselves and their subordinate team to prioritize, assess how they can contribute, and determine the results that need to be delivered.

(Inspired by HBR's 10 Must Reads on Managing Yourself)